i’m all for boys wearing makeup mostly because if more of them got into it there’d be a bigger market and it wouldn’t cost $25 for an eyeshadow primer anymore
i can’t wait to go into the makeup aisle to get the latest man-color of guyshadow that comes in containers shaped like bullets and footballs
"Bruh I just went to sephora and got the sickest shade of eyeshadow"
"Sick dude what’s it called"
"Monster truck gas fumes"
Now that it’s spring I should probably shave my legs
jesus fucking christ
‘if the bride and groom would now like to exchange their vows’ the priest says
‘a, e, i, o, u’ the bride whispers
homework to do: hella
homework i’ve done: negative hella
american horror story: talking to people u used to be friends with
taping mistletoe to my butt so you can all kiss my ass
she has so much booty
when you get mad at the wrong person & they get mad back